1L Tears: My LexisNexis Experience

Well I started Northwestern California University School of Law. I was super excited until I hit my first road block within 5 minutes of starting Day 1.  I went to create my “advanced” account with my self-described power house LexisNexis. Grab a bucket, you can collect my first 1L tears.

 

The NWCU administration sent over a very detailed .pdf file about how to create your account with LN. I followed it to the letter. Got to the page, input my name, e-mail address and the registration code.

BAM! No entrada para ti.

Just in case you don’t speak America’s new official language.

 

Notice the “Tips” still mocking me from above with its tiny letters.

So I called LexisNexis and spoke with someone. The call lasted about 15 minutes, we went through what school I was attending, what the e-mail address was for me, my name, why I was calling, etc. Most of the time I was on hold. The call ended with me being told the access code issue needed to be handled by my school. I e-mailed the school told them what happened and was in return told that was the access code they were given by LN. So I ran errands for an hour, hoping that maybe I was just too fast in creating my account once the school sent the info. I was in there in less than 3 minutes of receiving the e-mail. Yup, I’m a hungry 1L who is clearly overly sensitive.

Called LexisNexis again after my code fails. I feel like I got the same person on the phone as I did before, but she said no when I brought it up. She had an accent like she was Filipino and gave no fucks about my issue, she just worked the steps. We went through the motions again, I had to literally spell the name of my school’s administrator for them and give them the phone number to the school because she “wanted to make sure it was correct in their file.” Now here’s where this 15 minute round 2 phone call was a kick in the pants.

At first, I was told my access code was correct. I was advised to try logging in again with them on the phone, and I did. I even phonetically spelled out the access code as I typed it in while I was on the phone with them. Mardy, the customer service representative, said I was correct with my pronunciation and input. Nope, evil red box of shame again. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Tsk. “Tips” again, throwing it’s laughter in my face.

 

So then I offered up a different browser since my access code was confirmed to be correct over the phone. She said to use Internet Explorer. Now, in my head I was like fuck, I hate that browser it takes forever to load and because it is my default primary browser if it does load without execution, then I’ve got a virus. I click on IE it takes for fucking ever to load, of course it then asks me if I want Yahoo! as my default browser and that an unknown program is trying to change it. UGH. Mardy then starts to tell me the url because it is taking so long; I explain that IE is slow to load on my machine. I go through everything. RED. BOX. OF. DEATH.

Fuck!

I get put on hold again, hoping that they will just create the account for me. Then I get a kick in the pants. My registration code has expired.

In my head: How the fuck did you go from, “yes, you have a valid access code” to “your access code is expired.”?! Was the fucking server rebooting or some shit in the last hour?

So then she hit me with the “contact your school’s administrator.” Oh hell to the no!

Amber Riley is the TRUTH, son.

 

I told her that I called before and went through this and the school told me that was the code they had and made it seem like the code was being used presently and correctly by other students so I’m just the stupid special kid now. So I said, “Are you going to contact them and tell them that the code expired? Because I already spoke to them….yada yada”

Mardy and I were getting heated. She told me sternly that yes she would call them, but needed the name of the person. FUCK ME. Ya’ll still don’t have the damn name?! So I give the name again, the e-mail again. I’m like 2 seconds away from just 3-way calling in this issue because I’m getting the run around and I still don’t understand why she just can’t create the account for me. That’s what good tech support does when a user can’t figure shit out. So Mardy says she’ll call, I hit send to the e-mail I was drafting to the school saying here’s everything I’ve done, and I don’t know what else to do.

I’m on the Do Not Call Registry…

One hour later I get a call from an “Unknown.” I answer. It’s Mardy from LexisNexis.

 

Screeeech. How the fuck did they get my number? They logged it, because I never gave it. No where in any conversation did anyone say, “in case we get disconnected, what’s a good number we can call you back at?” I then get the correct spelling of her name because I’m gonna blog the shit outta this. I thought she was saying Margie.

Then the truth finally comes out.

She called me to let me know the outcome of the issue. In short, our LN representative changed for the school and thus a new code was issued.

Bye Felicia

However, this rep told no one and wasn’t working/answering today and so hopefully this will be resolved in a few days.

Received an e-mail the next day from the school with a new code. Time to go sign up! Hopefully. Yay, it worked.

Kudos to Mardy, for letting me know what was going on, but also, don’t log my number eh?

Sincerely,

1L Tears