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Great news, everybody! I found it! Behold, the most ironically-named street in America:
Seriously, it’s called “Independence” and you’re not even allowed to ride a bicycle there? Getting a ticket for riding a bicycle on a street called “Independence” would be even more ironic than getting busted for prostitution on the corner of Seaman and Cumming:
So why were bicycles banned on Independence Street in Shamokin, PA, in the first place? Well, I guess they were afraid someone might find their way there on a bicycle and shop:
But that was then, and now it sounds like the cyclists may be a little too independently-minded:
Wait, he clotheslined a kid?!” They really buried the lede there! That’s a juicy bit of gossip to say the least, yet I looked up “Councilman Mike Duganitz Clotheslines Area Youth” and got no results.
Plus, it gets even more ironic because Independence Street intersects with Liberty Street:
Granted, I haven’t actually been to Shamokin, but I did take a little virtual cruise down Independence Street and I didn’t get the sense that bicycles would exactly plunge it into chaos:
Like, would it really be so bad if someone got a wild hair and decided to ride a bike to The Fun Zone?
Or Coney Island Lunch?
Or the Verilife cannabis dispensary?
Wait a minute.
Someone opened a cannabis dispensary in Shamokin, PA and didn’t call it Smokin’ Shamokin?!?
That would be like the local pizza joint not selling Shamokin Hot Wings–which, thankfully, they do:
Whew, I was starting to worry.
Oh, and you know what Shamokin means?
Well if you guessed “Place of Eels” you’re correct:
My horizons have already broadened considerably and I haven’t even left the couch.
Speaking of Hungary, I mentioned it briefly in yesterday’s post, which got me thinking about custom bikes again:
This in turn prompted a round of introspection. While we all may have had a good laugh, there but for the grace of Lob go I, and what’s the difference between ordering a custom Mosaic complete with mildly invasive fitting session and, say, buying a Rivendell? Well, in one sense, there’s not really a difference at all. For example, in both cases you’re going to wind up with a piece of wood between your legs:
Also, is there really a meaningful difference between this…
…and this?
Sure, to us bike dorks there is, but to the average person the two middle-aged hobbyists above are completely interchangeable and equally self-indulgent, and normal people are thinking (or occasionally even shouting) the exact same obscenities at both of us when they see us from behind the wheel of their Hyundais.
Well, okay, fine, I guess there is one minor difference, but it only amounts to MANY THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. The price on that Mosiac was well over $17,000 fun tickets (he said they “blew the original total budget of £14,000 out of the water”), which means you could buy yourself four Rivendae instead and walk away with change:
Not that somebody who wants a custom Mosaic is going to change their mind and get a Rivendell instead, but it does put things in perspective.
