AT&T Lily Uses Her Boobs To Settle The Gun Debate

They did it AGAIN! The Libs did it again!!! They let us sneak on through the final days of April, and straight into the first Friday of May. 

And now we get a full weekend of playoff hockey (and NBA, if that’s your thing), the Kentucky Derby, and Cinco de Mayo, which inexplicably falls on a Monday. Oh, well. It’ll be a Treso-de-Mayo, and that’s all that matters. 

Not for me, of course. I’m a dad with two kids, and a First Lady who has a “market” tomorrow. That’s suburban mom talk for “art show.” It is at a brewery, though! So, maybe it won’t be all bad. 

Anyway, welcome to a Friday Nightcaps – the one where AT&T Lily helps settle the gun debate with her boobs. We love props in this class!

What else? I’ve got the best of the rest from a loaded week of #content, more reader mail from yesterday’s Cracker Barrel discussion, the WNBA girls getting us ready for a big weekend of preseason basketball, and the worst Alabama tailgate you’ve ever seen. 

Hard to mess up a good time in Tuscaloosa, but the Libs found a way last night! Weird. 

Grab a margarita for Cinco-de-Mayo – I’ll stick with a Modelo, of course – and settle in for a Friday ‘Cap!

Cracker Barrel is a house divided 

Two days in a row starting class with Cracker Barrel talk? Boy, are you guys lucky, or WHAT? You ain’t getting this at CNN. 

Anyway, yesterday I asked y’all to give me a vibe-check at your local Cracker Barrel after we discovered this week that pilot remodels were underway throughout the country. 

Our beloved store is becoming more modern – from the tables to the lighting. Some are OK with it. Others are disgusted by the very thought. 

The biggest issue, however, may be the food …

From Nick G:

I was not pleased. I used to love going to CB. You could always count on them for a good meal, any time of the day with good service, and it was reasonably priced. The most recent time I went, my wife and I spent over $50 on dinner and sat there for 35 minutes waiting for our food on a weeknight. We weren’t happy about it. Good chance we’ll never hit up a CB again. 

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Not great. Not what you wanna hear. Not how I want to start a big weekend. Is the pricing Cracker Barrel’s fault, though? I don’t know. Feel like that’s sort of the deal wherever you go anymore. Eating out has become nearly impossible in this climate. Perhaps Cracker Barrel is just no longer immune to it?

Scott F. in Daytona (!!!) provided a more positive outlook:

We went to the one in Daytona Tuesday Night. Looks the same. I had the country fried pork chops (Tuesday special) with the hashbrown casserole and corn as my sides. Way better than I expected. 

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That’s a great location, by the way. It’s about 20 minutes east of my house, and literally right next to the speedway. You’re basically dining in Turn 2. Right across from the Hooters, too!

Finally, Alex in N.C. said I’m being a dramatic little bitch and need to cut it out. OK, not really, but he ain’t buying what I’m selling, and I respect that:

I won’t say you are a whiny brat but I think it is a little over the top. Looks like the rockers are still on the porch and the lobby is still full of a lot of crap that no one needs. So check and check there. 

So they threw on some paint and updated the furniture, and let’s face it, all you really need in the dining area is the golf tee triangle and good food.

If they really took cobbler off the menu, that is a shame, but I think a lot of that came when they had to start putting calories on the menu and the number was a little on the high side. Overall, if the food is still tasty, then the rest isn’t that big of a deal. 

And if you want the older version, just go to the next exit on I-40, and it will probably be like the good ol days. No way they update ALL the restaurants in the next 10 years.

What a week of #content!

So … a mixed bag, as you can see. Some good. Some bad. Feels like the vibes are still decent, and the tees are still tableside. Food is pricier, and there’s no cobbler, but I’m not ready to drop the hammer on ’em just yet. 

Stay vigilant, though. We need to hold these folks accountable. Once we lose Cracker Barrel, we lose ourselves. And that ain’t happening on my watch. 

OK, that’s a lot of words … let’s get to the #content and then to AT&T Lily. 

AT&T Lily uses her boobs as weapons, the WNBA gals are ready to roll & ‘Bama libs!

Another great week! Love the momentum we’re carrying into the first month of summer (in my book, at least). 

Couple thoughts …

1. Trump’s commencement speech was all over the place. It basically turned into a rally. At one point, he told all the graduating seniors that world leaders were kissing his ass. They’ll cherish that advice forever!

2. Danica by the pool with a glass of Danica Patrick wine? Yes, please!

3. The AIM door noise was one of the elite sounds of the 1990s and early 2000s. Horny middle school Zach lived for it. 

4. Welcome back to class, Brylie St. Clair! Almost professional softball season!

5. It’s also almost WNBA season! Rejoice! We get Sophie Cunningham BACK in action, along with Lexie Hull and, of course, Caitlin Clark. Sophie and Lexie are clearly going to dominate this season, on and off the court. Mainly off. 

Caitlin, meanwhile, looks like she had a big offseason. Let’s check in with her and get this rapid-fire portion of class going!

My God. I know she’s gone woke, but she’s still a solid little basketball player – and now she’s built like a freight train. Look out, gals. This woke white girl who hates the fact that she’s white is COMING for that ass!

PS: Tickets for the Fever’s preseason game in Iowa this weekend seem reasonable:

My God. Clearly, the Caitlin Clark fever ain’t dying down – despite how much she hates her own skin color! 

Next? Let’s check in with the ‘Bama Libs, who protested Donald Trump’s speech last night in the most pathetic way possible:

What a crew! Look at those folks. It just looks like it smells awful. You know when you can just smell certain videos? Like when I see old clips of Blockbuster Video? 

You can smell this video, and it’s pungent. 

But also, just listen to this nonsense being said at this protest. At one point, you can hear some beta Gen-Zer yell, “Donald Trump hates you!”

Other gems include: “Playground of a fascist!” “A man who hates universities!” and the “Trump preys on the uneducated” sign. Good one! 

The Libs are so cooked at this point. Sad. Great for us, though!

OK, that’s it for today – and this week! Good work by all. 

AT&T Lily has suddenly become a meme on the internet, and I ain’t complaining. Neither are you. 

See you Monday. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You excited for the WNBA season? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.