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Not too long ago I mentioned the Flitedeck “smart handlebar,” and it seems like the cycling media is finally noticing–or at least acknowledging–the source of the proprietor’s revenue stream:
As they say in business school, if you can’t appeal to their minds, appeal to their…other parts:
Though at least one bike company has apparently tried to steal the idea:
Reading between the lines, we can take this to mean that the John Burke OnlyFans was not a success:
[“I may or may not be wearing pants. Want to find out? Subscribe now!”]
They also had a “meeting” with a bike industry CEO recently, which may or may not have involved large quantities of baby oil:
They don’t reveal the identity of the CEO, but I’ve got a pretty good idea of who it might be:
That’s a shot of him actually building the bicycle, by the way:
Because he’s a genius:
The frame of a genius, the body of an Adonis, and the rap sheet of an entertainment industry mogul.
But yes, each Cipollini frame is hand-sculpted from a single hunk of pecorino romano by the man himself, and he truly is a genius in the most Felliniesque sense of the word.
Anyway, the smart handlebar should take us one crucial step closer to complete road bike non-serviceability:
It’s so much better than the quill stem, isn’t it?
Speaking of things that are comically oversized, remember 750d, the new gravel-specific wheel size?
Of course you don’t. Nobody wants it, and nobody cares. Nevertheless, they’re making the bikes for it anyway, and the reviews are starting to trickle in from the cycling media:
The answer, as you might have suspected, is “No, we really don’t.” But remember: gravel cycling in the 21st century is all about inclusivity, and there is no group of people who have had a harder go of it in our society than statuesque athletic men:
A new wheel size means people of limited means such as Reggie Miller won’t have to resort to the custom-built Moots gravel bicycles they can easily afford:
750d could finally bring cycling the infusion of retired professional athletes the sport so desperately needs.
