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As a former semi-professional blogger and current recreational bike blogger, I know a thing or two about the cycling media, and I can tell you that it’s in trouble. Big trouble. For example, there are not nearly enough articles about the new Specialized Diverge:
Only fourteen!?! Oh, sure, I know what you’re thinking: “There is not any subject in existence that warrants having fourteen articles written about it”–and of course you’re right. But it’s not every day that Specialized introduces a new gravel bike. (I think it’s more like every three days.) Also, I picked one of the stories at random, and it was very informative indeed:
From it, I learned that the Diverge is one of “the most capable and versatile off-the-shelf adventure bikes the world has ever seen:”
In the fourth iteration of Specialized Bicycles’ flagship gravel bike, the beloved endurance platform receives revamped geometry, clearance for massive tires, and ample downtube storage, allowing you to carry everything you need while tackling big days in the saddle. Combining all these changes into one platform, Specialized Bicycles has created one of the most capable and versatile off-the-shelf adventure bikes the world has ever seen.
This is possibly one of the most absurd cycling-related claims the world has ever seen. I mean sure, the Diverge highly adventure-worthy, just as long as you don’t expose it to mud, sand, or rocks.
The Diverge 4 can now comfortably fit all the biggest, baddest, and most supple modern gravel tires up to 50mm, but it doesn’t end there. Depending on tread pattern and rim width, the Diverge can accommodate up to 2.2” MTB tires with about 4mm of clearance, for those who are really looking to maximize adventure.
Keep in mind that Frame and fork damage from mud/sand/rock build-up is not covered under the Specialized warranty—something I have had to explain to customers many times while working in bike shops.
And just as there aren’t nearly enough reviews of the new Diverge, there also aren’t enough variations of the new Diverge:
I’m sure this is where people tell me companies like Specialized need to offer lots of different bikes at lots of different prices for lots of different uses –oh, sorry, I mean different price POINTS for different use CASES.
Look, I get it. If we don’t keep putting more and more content out there then the whole thing falls apart. You need to sell a billion bikes. So you need a million people to write about the new Diverge, and you need a million people to write about the new Grizl.
[Canyon’s Gravel Product Manager wishing his Grizl offered the riding position of a Rivendell.]
That’s two million articles right there. Then you get another couple of million stories when all the “Diverge vs. Grizl” reviews come out…though actually I guess AI can just read the one million Diverge stories and the one million Grizl stories and do that on its own:
Bullshit goes in, bullshit comes out:
If I were an actual bike reviewer I’d worry that I’m in trouble, but fortunately being a cynical contrarian bike blogger is in no immediate danger.
Nice try, AI.
As long as it keeps taking things literally and I remain bitter and resentful I think I’ll be safe.
Speaking of safety, let’s talk about speed bumps:
This particular speed bump is in Wompatuk State Park in Hingam, which the most Massachusetts-sounding place name I’ve ever heard.
Lyons and others said three yellow speed bumps were put in across Union Street this summer. They say the second is the most dangerous to bikers.
He added, “If you didn’t know what you were doing and you were coming down the street on them, you’d probably get hurt on it.”
The second speed bump is at the intersection of Union Street and South Pleasant Street.
“One guy shattered his knee or something,” said Leif Thornton Tuesday at Wompatuck State Park. “Another woman, I guess, got scrapes on her face and elbows.”
I admit that I was skeptical at first. After all, how hard is it to ride over a speed bump? I bet even Lucas Brunelle could manage to do that! But then I saw the thing:
Holy crap. That’s not a speed bump, that’s a booby trap!
Of course, traditional speed bumps don’t really work to slow cyclists. (Assuming they’re not optical illusions like this one.) Hit one at 20mph in your Hyundai and you’re in for a shock, yet with a well-timed bunny hop you can ride over one on your bike at 30mph, easy. Meanwhile, in Portland you don’t even have to do that, because they have these little slots so bikes don’t have to slow at all, which even I think is obnoxious:
Like if drivers need to slow down shouldn’t cyclists have to slow down too? Also, in a car, can’t you just drive in the middle of the street and place your wheels in the channels?
I observed a similar phenomenon in my own neighborhood. We live adjacent to an area in which the streets are privately maintained by a property owner’s association, so they can do stuff independent of the DOT. Some years back, they put speed bumps at all the stop signs, which I thought was brilliant because it meant drivers would have to come to a complete stop instead of simply slowing down a little and then rolling through them like they usually do. However, what actually happened was that everyone just started driving around the speed bumps without slowing at all, which was even worse:
I guess sometimes those lengthy traffic studies are justified after all. When it comes to road design, you can only count on one thing, which is that people are assholes.
Finally, while we’re on the subjects of both safety and marketing, I was reading the comments on that rim brake article from the other day, and I was both amused and astounded to read this:
So a rim brake can stop a 23mm tire but not a 32mm tire? And somehow, given the same brake, it’s harder to slow a bike with tires that offer better traction than it is to slow a bike with tires that offer poorer traction?
Clearly he wasn’t able to process the brake marketing and the tire marketing simultaneously and it broke his brain.
