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Lovely weather we’re having:
To paraphrase The Great Man, it ain’t fit out there for Fred or beast, and it’s so bad that Mayor Mam-commie even has us under a TRAVEL BAN:
Not like I actually plan to leave the house, mind you, but it’s the idea of the thing. See, I’ve got an SUV, and I’ll go anywhere I damn well please…if I can manage to get myself un-stuck, that is:
And yes, people really are that bad at driving around here. I’ve been watching similar scenes play out over and over again ever since last month’s snowstorm, which hadn’t even melted away yet when this one arrived. Here’s the fresh new snow falling on the disgusting old snow:
It’s like contracting norovirus just as you’re getting over a hangover.
Fortunately, unlike food poisoning, I at least saw this bout of projectile vomiting coming, and so I made sure to squeeze in some riding first. In fact, I even brought out the PRJCT GRVL bike:
There was still too much snow to do any actual graveling, though at this point the roads are so bad I’d argue that they qualify:
I will admit that after getting spogged on not too long ago I’ve been leery of the tires, but so far they’ve been holding up:
See, potholes are one thing…
…but the real flat hazard is all the detritus lining the roads:
Scientific analysis reveals this terminal moraine of sludge is comprised of the following:
Making this especially hazardous to cyclists is that it’s all suspended in a matrix that adheres to bicycle tires, ensuring the sharper components eventually make their way through the casing. I’d share with you the exact composition of this matrix, but the percentage of semen content alone is enough to trigger projectile vomiting, and while ignorance isn’t exactly bliss, it might at least allow you to continue deluding yourself enough to going outside. Let’s just say you should use full fenders whenever possible, at least until it gets to the point where this stuff is able to eat through plastic:
By the way, I’ve had those now-discontinued Schwalbe Marathon Supreme tires on there since 2020, and not only do they have plenty of tread left, but in that time I’ve experienced exactly one (1) flat, though of course I realize that having pointed this out I’ve now jinxed them and they’re going to explode at any moment.
Nevertheless, for urban riding in filthy conditions, I continue to put more faith in a robust tubed tire than a more “supple” tubeless one. See, a gravel road is like a monogamous relationship, and as such you may be able to rely entirely on an internal solution such as sealant. However, if you’re running around the city indiscriminately, a tough casing is paramount, as it is your first line of defense:
Sure, you sacrifice a bit in ride feel, but it’s worth it, because you never know what you’re liable to pick up out there.
