Inflated Sense Of Self – Bike Snob NYC

Further to yesterday’s post about drivers running into people, a reader informs me that Subaru has introduced a new cyclist-coddling airbag:

Doesn’t that look comfy? Now hitting a cyclist will be less like vehicular assault and more like putting a baby down for a nap:

I look forward to the updated version that plays soothing music and deploys a blanket to keep the victim cozy until first responders arrive.

And yet clearly the airbag department and the body design department at Subaru don’t interact with each other at all, because at the same time they seem to be redesigning the front ends of their cars to maximize cyclist-battering capability:

See how much flatter the grill is getting?

What good is that doggy bed airbag if you don’t wind up on it in the first place?

Anyway, wanna see a graceful front end? Now this is a graceful front end:

With the weather as delightful as it’s been recently I couldn’t resist commuting by bicycle yesterday, and the spring hues were enough to make you wanna puke:

As were the many other people enjoying themselves:

There’s nothing I hate more than seeing people enjoying themselves.

While these days I’ve become one of those “woosie” occasional fair-weather bicycle commuters, it’s important to remember that I singlehandedly invented pretty much the entire urban cycling lexicon:

While this in itself is ironic, what’s doubly ironic is that there’s a common misconception that shoaling is yet another cultural example of men asserting their dominance over women:

Nonsense. As both a man and the person who coined the term I can assure you that gender has nothing to do with it and that women shoal me all the time:

Though I was riding the Homer, and maybe there’s just something quaint and endearing about a Rivendell that screams “shoal me.”

Yes, some things in New York never change. One of them is shoaling, and another is the Holland Tunnel traffic on Varick Street, which has once again been clumpy and thick despite congestion pricing:

The result is blocked crosswalks when the light changes:

That’s pretty much the Doge meme in real life, and it’s even in a Tesla for maximum poignancy:

Clearly the dog and the pedestrian feel quite differently about the situation:

And finally, speaking of my contributions to society, I’m pleased to announce I’ve succeeded in completely bending the narrative around both the Trek Y-Foil and George Plimpton to my will:

And when I say completely, I do mean completely:

They say history is written by the victors, but I suspect it’s mostly written by the wiseasses.