N.F.L. Playoff Predictions: Vibes Only

“We got the N.F.L. playoffs here. What do you expect from these contending teams based only on their vibes? No. 1, Denver Broncos.” “I kind of feel immaculate.” “I think immaculate, but —” “I think Sean Payton is grumpy enough all the time that it might keep you from immaculate. I say decent with the Broncos. That’s where I go with it.” “OK, fair enough.” “Patriots?” “Immaculate.” “Immaculate — it’s like I’m a Bills fan, and I still think that they have immaculate vibes.” “Oh well you know what, let’s go to your team, Buffalo Bills.” “Not immaculate vibes.” “Not great.“ “I kind think not great.” “Fragile vibes in Buffalo.” “Yes.” “Ohhh.“ “They’re fragile vibes. I would say it’s not great, but we are teetering on the edge of horrific, based on —” “Fragile — I like fragile.” “Let’s slot that in.” “All right, well, let’s keep it going. The Houston Texans.” “I will say decent. The season felt over five weeks into the year, and now they feel pretty dangerous. And so I don’t think it can be any worse than decent if that’s what the trajectory of your season is.” “I agree.” “Yea that’s fair.“ “Let’s kick it over to the N.F.C. OK first up, the team with the bye: Seattle Seahawks.” “Immaculate.” “Immaculate.” “Immaculate vibes.” “The vibes are immaculate. The resurgence that they have experienced this year because of the vibes of the team. This is the clearest cut one for me.” “I’m saying Bears, immaculate.” “I might go decent just because it’s the Bears.” “That’s exactly where I am as well, exactly where I am.” “So, I am going to go immaculate because there aren’t many times as a Bears fan I could feel this way.” “OK, OK.” “For the first time in my life —” “You want it on record?” “For the first time in my life, as a Bears fan, they’ve gotten the two most important positions correct, in head coach and quarterback.” “49ers, what do we think? What are the vibes?” “49ers — decent.“ “Decent.” “I think decent as well.” “I think decent.” “Even with all the injuries?” “Yes, that’s why it’s decent because they’ve overcome all of those things. And I think I’d put the Rams in a similar spot. They were immaculate earlier this year, but I think it’s fallen off a little bit.” “Yeah.” “I think — I’m sitting with decent.” “Yeah.” “Great.” “Let’s percolate on this: Based on vibes only, who’s winning the Super Bowl?” “Ooh.” “Patriots.” “I’m saying it.” “I’m saying it too, again as a Bills fan. Patriots, and I’ve been saying it since the beginning of the season.” “I know I’m a Patriots fan, I think the reason that they’re going to win is because expectations were so low to start the year, and then they’ve gone on this run. I know their schedule — I still think they’re going to win the Super Bowl.”