On A Dais, On A Dais, Oh, Oh, Oh, On A Dais – Bike Snob NYC

Nearly one year ago, on New Year’s Eve, I assembled my new Roadini:

And here it is today–or at least two days ago before the snow arrived:

Over the past year I’ve made a few changes that emphasize the Road- portion of its name, and of course in that time Rivendell also introduced their new derailleur, which you’ll see fitted above. Here’s a video about this new chain-moving device:

Overall I thought this was a good rundown, though I don’t believe it addressed what to me is the biggest advantage of this (or really any) low-normal derailleur, which is that when used with bar ends it means they’re always pointed down when you’re in your lowest gears. This ensures they’re always out of the way when you’re climbing out of the saddle:

Also, the light downshifting action you get with this combination just feels right somehow, and I’d highly recommend using an ass-backwards derailleur over a regular one if you’re setting up a bike with bar-end friction shifters.

Or don’t, your bike really isn’t my problem.

Meanwhile, in cycling apparel news, MAAP is opening a fancy new store:

“LaB” stands for “Life around Bikes,” and this new store makes for a total of nine MAAP LaBs, or LaBia, to use the correct Latin plural suffix. Here’s more:

The Sydney LaB fully embodies MAAP’s “Life around Bikes” ethos, serving as a cultural nexus for the local cycling community. Designed by the acclaimed Clare Cousins Architects, the interior features a tactile, premium aesthetic that balances stainless steel, sandy render, and terracotta tones, all highlighted by MAAP’s signature vibrant colors. Crucially, the functional layout incorporates both a coffee bar and a dedicated community space to facilitate events, shared stories, and genuine local interaction.

What?!?

I’m not getting that from the photo at all.

It looks like someplace you’d go to get a colonoscopy:

[The waiting room at the new MAAP LaB Endoscopy Center]

Hopefully they open a store in New York soon so I can put on my best “Alt-Road” wardrobe and Jesus-carry my bike inside with me:

[How do you unburden a distraction?]

I may complain about redundant phrases like “use case” and “design intent,” but there’s probably no more gratuitous word than “alt,” since it’s meant to denote that something is “alternative,” and yet as soon as you see it you can be sure that whatever it’s being used to describe has gone fully mainstream–MAAP’s florid prose notwithstanding:

Alt_Road™ is about getting out there. Pursuing rides that go beyond the normal. Beyond expectations of your own limitations. Alt_Road™ is freedom at speed on tough terrain. It’s following a small wiggly line on the map for way longer than originally thought. On some maps at least. It’s riding into an uncrossable bridge and improvising with a river crossing. Alt_Road™ means riding all day to eat beans from the can at night under the awning of a gas station, while a summer storm rolls over the horizon.

It’s so Alt™ they trademarked™ it! By the way, if that’s what Alt™ Road™ means, then why don’t they make all their stores look like gas stations and serve nothing but beans? Or, better yet, do a MAAP pop-up at an actual gas station and a “collabo” with B&M.

Just imagine stopping by the local Mobil station to gas up the Hyundai only to find a line of people who look like this:

[Alt™ cyclist standing on gravel dais and waiting for his bean ration]

I’d like to see budget cycling apparel brand Sponeed open a flagship to compete with MAAP, Pas Normal, Rapha, etc. Here’s what it would look like:

Just call ahead, because sometimes they’re closed to the public for special events such as AA meetings.

You won’t find overwrought ruminations on the nature of “alt” on the Sponeed website, but you will find models with hairy legs:

You also won’t find a dedicated gravel line, even though gravel clothes are just regular clothes with an extra pocket. They’re leaving lots of money on the table, too, since they already sell shorts with pockets, so all they need is a name:

Just triple the price and you’ve got a winner.