rewrite this title The Short Order: The Best Uniforms (If They Were Purple)

Think of a generic sports team. This is easiest to do by first imagining a pharmaceutical ad where two teams are playing some fun rec league basketball or baseball or whatever. It does not matter what the drug is, because the point is that it’s a pleasant little setting and everybody’s having a good time. The uniforms for both teams are likely red on one side and blue on the other. Those are just popular colors. This is so ingrained in baseball especially as the teams have baked color names into their identity. So we went years and years with reds, blues, and whites … and then the 90s happened, and purple came into play. For the longest time, all we had were the Lakers. Then the Rockies and the Toronto Raptors and the Baltimore Ravens and the Diamondbacks all added more purple flair to the entertainment world.

Then the purple fad withered away. Both the Raptors and Diamondbacks shed the color in favor of more red tones, keeping with the common mythology that teams who wear red tend to collect more wins. Never mind that the Diamondbacks have won a World Series with the purple and teal, but here we are, it’s 2025, and Arizona has reintroduced purple back into their closet with the second version of their Serpientes collection. It’s quite simply an exquisite uniform. Purple is an underused uniform color. Maybe it can work for all the other 29 teams looking for a fresh fit.

Methodology: This one is more subjective. We’ll only be considering their regular home and/or away jerseys—no alternates, no City Connects—and changing the main color to purple. I’m not using Photoshop, because I’m not good at it anymore, and I’m not using AI, because I have a brain and an imagination. The teams will then be ranked by how much their uniform look improves. 

Diamondbacks
Rockies

There are no modifications necessary to the only team officially in purple, but every iteration of their uniform seems to work well. So it just felt good to put the Rockies high up on a list for once.

Royals

One of the other reasons purple has been eschewed for more basic colors is the implicit connection to kings and queens. This is supposed to be a commoner’s game. A peasant’s pastime. The local archduke would never walk by the park, notice a pickup game, and say “I fair say, ye lads, dost thou need one spare dashing fielder of the middle?” He’d get a bucket of bubblegum to the temple. However it’s hard to justify distancing oneself from the color when you are literally the Royals.

Nationals
Braves
Dodgers
Twins
Mets
Angels
Rays
Yankees

Okay, that whole thing about “no photoshop” was true, but I had to make an exception. He does look happier, though.

Guardians
Marlins
Giants
Rangers
Tigers
Cubs
Astros
Phillies
Padres
Mariners
Brewers

It’s a solid uniform and the blue/yellow works with their whole vibe. The big difficulty here is all the beer vendors constantly explaining to fans that they are not selling lean.

Athletics
Pirates
White Sox

   T-26. Orioles   T-26. Cardinals   T-26. Blue Jays

All of those birds are correctly colored, if we’re being honest. Making them purple looks like they are a slightly more difficult random encounter in an RPG.

Red Sox
Reds