See You In September! – Bike Snob NYC

OK, well that’s it, I’m going on vacation.

“Vacation?!?,” you’re now ejaculating indignantly as you spray coffee all over your screen. “You don’t even do anything! What the hell do you need a vacation from?!?”

Oh, I dunno, how about…CRAP LIKE THIS???

Look, as a bike dork and Internet bullshit artist I get it. He’s one of a lucky few who get to ride bikes and make “content” all day and I totally respect that. Still, that doesn’t mean I can’t be totally grossed out by some guy…

Coming at me from different angles…

And getting all in my face with his hair and his glasses…

And telling me over and over…

About his stupid plastic bike and his stupid plastic equipment…

And about how essential it is to the complete enjoyment of cycling:

Hey, we all have our turn-ons and our turn-offs, and if this sort of thing makes your bib shorts tighter than by all means go for it. I’m not going to get into your browser cache and start judging you for whatever porn you may be watching. But speaking strictly for myself, his whole “This relatively new and very expensive stuff is now old and crappy and will ruin your riding experience, whereas this extremely new and extremely expensive stuff will save it” routine sickened me to my very core and made me hate everything about this ugly-ass bike:

And that’s wrong because you should never hate a bike, even a plastic one, and if someone manages to make me angry at a bike then that’s a highly dubious accomplishment.

So for my own sanity if nothing else, I’ll be taking my leave of this increasingly smug and even more increasingly irrelevant corner of the Internet from now until…oh, let’s take a look at the calendar…Tuesday, September 2nd, at which point I will resume regular updates.

In the meantime, I hope you manage to get some end-of-summer riding in, and I thank you very much for your readership.

Also, as you may recall, my friend died not too long ago, and I found myself in the unexpected position of being responsible for the disposition of all of his cycling equipment. As of now I have either sold or donated the bulk of it, and with the proceeds from the sales I’ve been able to make donations to both Star Track and Ride Up Grades, two programs in which my elder son has participated in the past and for which I am grateful. I also donated bikes and equipment directly to Recycle-A-Bicycle (the fact that they were able to come and pick it up from his home was tremendously helpful) and certain items have become part of the Classic Cycle museum. It’s been a lot of work, but it’s also been satisfying, and I feel honored that a rider I respected so much trusted me with his most valued possessions. I’ve even gotten to meet some of you in the process, which I very much enjoyed. If you’re among those who acquired something I hope you enjoy it just as much.

So again, thank you for your readership and your indulgence. Thank you also for your material support, if you’ve given it. I’m fortunate enough not to have to make payment a precondition for readership (plus if I did you’d all ditch me anyway), but if you’re able and inclined to help I can assure you it means a lot. But I don’t require it of you, because the fact that anybody takes the time to read anything I write is all the success I ever dreamed of…which is probably why I’m not very successful.

Enjoy the rest of your summer, and see you back here Tuesday, September 2nd!

Love,

Tan Tenovo