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Image credit: © Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports
NICK KRALL: [Posts Frankie Montas press release]
A.J. PRELLER: Yeah man we saw
KRALL: Just making sure
KRALL: No one said anything..
PRELLER: What’s everybody up to
MIKE ELIAS: [Posts link to story on winning Executive of the Year]
DAVE DOMBROWSKI: [yawning cat .gif]
ANDREW FRIEDMAN: [picture of himself with Shohei Ohtani and Yoshinobu Yamamato building gingerbread house]
FRIEDMAN: That was a real nice try on Yamamoto Dave
FRIEDMAN: Too bad you had to go after us
DOMBROWSKI: Nice moves sending the entire middle of your batting order to badger him. And that Kobe shit was weird af
FRIEDMAN: [Shrugging emoji]
DOMBROWSKI: Freeman shoulder-checked Middleton as he passed us going in. Sent him flying into a potted plant. Dirt everywhere
FRIEDMAN: lol
JED HOYER: Just pulled up to Nightengale’s house with a box of Uncrustables to throw. I can see him through the window.
PRELLER: What
KRALL: Jed don’t!
KRALL: He’s just trying to have a nice holiday!
HOYER: Holiday’s over bitch.
HOYER: How’s this for a “stern exchange.”
KRALL: But he was right, you didn’t GET Ohtani!
HOYER: YOU don’t get it Krall. This is about respect.
PRELLER: You are 50 years old dude
HOYER: You sound like my son
CASHMAN: Go to Sherman’s house next
CASHMAN: My kids asked me what my Christmas wish was this year and I said “to stick a pen in Joel Sherman’s eye”
FRIEDMAN: That reminds me did we ever find out who gave everybody diarrhea
CASHMAN: That was all your fault for eating a lunch buffet in *scottsdale*
CASHMAN: Also if somebody asks me about these City Connect jerseys one more time I am giving Judge his outright release. I don’t give af anymore
CASHMAN: Now I’ve got to have this lady from the MLB Flagship Store secretly killed.. Waste of my gd time
CASHMAN: Siri delete crimes
CASHMAN: Siri delete jokes
CASHMAN: Siri delete crimes that I meant as jokes
DAVID STEARNS: Cash do you have a starter I can have? Like a guy you could just put on the 4 train.
STEARNS: Just drank three glasses of wine and decided I can’t start a guy named “Butt-o.”
FRIEDMAN: Those jersey sales tho
STEARNS: Don’t talk to me about jersey sales Friedman.
STEARNS: You’ve got the only jerseys people want to buy.
FRIEDMAN: Who, these guys? [posts gingerbread picture again]
STEARNS: gdi
FRIEDMAN: Is Cohen healing yet from this off-season’s humiliations
STEARNS: Oh man
STEARNS: THAT guy
KRALL: He seems fine?
STEARNS: After Ohtani’s agent never called, he hurled that head sculpture made of frozen blood at the wall.
STEARNS: And when Yamamato turned us down he played Baldur’s Gate 3 for 96 hours straight.
PRELLER: That dude is tough to nail down
STEARNS: No shit
PRELLER: I said hi to him at the GM Meetings but he said he was just there to campaign for Andrew Yang.
STEARNS: Uh oh
STEARNS: Campaign for what?
PRELLER: ?????
ELIAS: You guys should see Angelos try to open a snack
ELIAS: He tries to play it off like he’s not using every ounce of strength and still failing
ELIAS: Then he hands it to an assistant, tears in his eyes
PRELLER: Mike, why’d they make the Oriole Bird go to that ceremony about the lease
ELIAS: That was me dude
ELIAS: I made the mistake of having a meeting with Angelos after he’d just seen the Bloomberg story on David Rubenstein
ELIAS: He was like “YOU HAVE TO BE THE BIRD NOW”
ELIAS: Had no idea wtf he was talking about
ALEX ANTHOPOULOS: [Press release on Chris Sale trade]
PRELLER: Uh ok dude
BEN CHERINGTON: wtf
CHERINGTON: I thought we said no spending this year
FRIEDMAN: YOU said that.
PRELLER: You always say that
CHERINGTON: Uh, McCutchen much?? Yeah thanks
FRIEDMAN: …
CHERINGTON: People love him.
PRELLER: …
CHERINGTON: Shut up
KRALL: …
FRIEDMAN: Stop trying to be like us Krall
KRALL: What do you mean
KRALL: We’re all just a bunch of dick-swinging execs, making deals and eating steaks
FRIEDMAN: jfc
PRELLER: Don’t do this
KRALL: ???
KRALL: [Posts Frankie Montas press release]
KRALL: [Press release gets thumbs-down’d repeatedly]
HOYER: Holy shit Nightengale owns a gun
HOYER: A big one
PRELLER: Obviously AA isn’t going to talk about it but how did this Sale trade happen, Breslow?
CRAIG BRESLOW: You know I can’t really remember
BRESLOW: I feel like Anthopoulos brought up Vaughn Grissom at the buffet line in Scottsdale and then everything just went black
BRESLOW: But when I came out of it, Grissom just kept popping into my head. And the second I’d think about calling Anthopoulos, he’d be calling me to talk figures.
KRALL: I’ve heard that’s what trading with him is like
JERRY DIPOTO: It totally is
FRIEDMAN: Jerry we’ve all gotten enough voicemails from you with just heavy breathing to know you get a little excited to make any kind of deal
DIPOTO: I told you! I just roll over on my phone while I’m sleeping
FRIEDMAN: Is that how you shed all that payroll too
DIPOTO: It’s called being aggressive
DIPOTO: And also prudent
HOYER: He’s a good shot too. Just blew the head off a flamingo statue.
HOYER: I’m texting while blasting through red lights
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